Sitting still.

Good morning.

As I sit down here, finishing up with my second bowl of cereal, I have to be honest, I am not sure where this post is going. I might be mocking myself a little today. I am feeling somewhat blue but nothing unfixable. Let me try to explain without giving out much detail. Past week has been… lazy nights, lazy mornings, showing some love to the house I am in, kitchen kitchen kitchen, yummy smells, extremely hot weather, hands together and so much love that I felt full in my heart.

I am grateful. I wait for this kind of time every year for it to last only a few days. Some of you might relate.

Quite some time, I stab a knife into a delicate fabric. It could be silk… just hear the noise of it tearing apart. That’s how much it hurts the other person. Oh, I never think about a situation, really think it through and give myself a chance to blame myself for a second. It is not so hard to explain. The blood rushes through my head and I speak words. I speak the wrong words. I speak them and I wish I never spoke again.

My heart is at unease today. It’s beating a lot given the fact that I am just sitting still here.

Love can be so intense yet never enough. Love makes you do things that you never imagine. If breaking someone’s heart, crushes yours into dust… Hit your head on the ground and try to get up. Because he had to do that so.

Thank you.

More of my unaccepted apologies.

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