Problems: Suit and Tie

A solution to all of your problems…

The answer is actually quite simple. But, you wouldn’t read the whole article if I gave it to you right away. Unless—

You are one of those people who flips the book, reads the very last page, –it is usually something like this “And, they walked away, holding each other’s hands tightly”—, literally is now shocked that the two main characters actually saved the world together walking off to a different planet, flips back to the first chapter, keeps reading.

Who are you?

I am caught up in the middle of everything. I am sure you know the feeling. Waking up too early, running in no fuel, sleeping too early, not sleeping, doing this for that, doing that for your co-worker, doing, literally doing something all the damn time.

Brain overloaded. In my case, I cannot properly speak the only two languages I know—especially my mother tongue. Words, words, words… what are those things?

You want to be in place A but expected to be in place B.

You want to pursue your dreams but expected to live enough to survive.

You want to say something but can’t oversee the consequences.

I am sure every single old person you met told you this golden rule of life: Everybody dies. They probably didn’t tell you this: Some kill themselves and some kill the ones they love the most. They commit the biggest crime in this life alone, push until they burst, snap or tear.

The online world is occupied with what other people do, where they go to eat, what they wear, how they consume. My world consists of those with ambitions who have endless goals and just as much greed and anger. Just maybe, the pure love that expects commitment. Death. Words. I start clashing my teeth. The society I see needs a reality check.

Let’s jump to the part about why you were reading this whole thing.

Follow me: It’s you. In you.

Do what makes you, you. (Maybe avoid major decisions, like me). Find that One to talk to. And, you will live forever.

(As you already know, writing is my therapy. Thank you for listening.)

Choices and Changes

I remember a significant scene of two friends talking in front of the entrance of the gym that I work. One of my co-workers was ranting about the future and how she was getting serious with her boyfriend and she wants (and probably needs) to get married to her boyfriend within the next couple of years. I am usually interested in almost every conversation at work… This one, I half or quarter-listened, it really did not matter to me… up until now.

I am twenty-two, hardly earning enough money to pay for my peanut butter consumption, gym membership and half of the books that my university requires. Apparently, I need to write a thesis this year, what the heck is a thesis? Is there a way to not live with my parents when I graduate? Because I am literally, mentally, and unapologetically done. Oh, and I probably am scared as hell about getting married… Wooow, did I just type that? Okay, let’s stop here.

I have been told by someone that no one can interfere with your life unless you let them. I once was in one of the many unpleasant arguments with a family member, I probably said something like “I am fed up with this, and I want you to stop trying to make me unhappy all the damn time”. She, as always, replied, “It’s your choice to be unhappy, I did not make you”. Just writing this, I still want to punch her face even though I understand the meaning behind the words now.

The TV series “Fi” that I recently started watching revolves around a beautiful dancer and a famous psychiatrist who is obsessively in love with her. He manipulates her life a great deal using his wisdom and money; he changes her career, ruins her relationship and quickly “takes” her to himself. But, I hope you got the hint because even the way I describe it right now is faulty.

No one, I repeat, no one can interfere with your life, cross over your lines, manipulate or change you. No one has the power to do that unless you want them to, or you let them.

After I realized that this is the way it is, the remedy to all of my problems was simple… Trust yourself, trust the Greater Power if you believe, and trust that there’s a plan that only works only for you.

I need to crash the taboos within my own mind. I know you probably have your own, too. All I know is that I will live, but I’ll do it my way.

I will be free. I will be free. I will be free.

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